Chris Brown’s Documentary Trailer Confirms He’s Still Awful

For some reason, some deluded cretins decided a Chris Brown documentary is what the world needed, and the first trailer for it has just hit the internet. If you want to hear a few celebrities ass-kiss Brown then this might be the thing for you. We also get to hear how hard it was for him in the media after he assaulted his then-girlfriend Rihanna. So I guess if you also like people playing the ‘woe is me’ card this could also be for you. Anyway, here’s the trailer for the terribly titled ‘Welcome To My Life: The Official Chris Brown Documentary’:

Testimonials come from the likes of Usher, DJ Khaled, Jennifer Lopez (why?) and the poor man’s Rihanna, Rita Ora, stating that “Chris makes the bangers,” which might be true if you can separate the monster from the music. Speaking of which…

“I felt like a fucking monster,” Brown says of the Rihanna incident. Well done to him, some self-awareness I guess. Or you know, maybe his therapist told that’s how he should feel. Who knows? I can’t tell whether Brown has sincerity about him, but I’m going to go with no.

Also, rather than looking at the details of that night, we get to take a look what supposedly took a real beating that night: Chris Brown’s poor self-esteem. “He made that mistake because he needed help,” says a voiceover used from a 2012 Rihanna interview with Oprah, that could trick people into thinking she’s actively rooting for him. He even goes on to say that he “was thinking about suicide.” That’s pretty sad…

Oh, never mind then – guess he’s still making mistakes because he still needs help.

I was hoping that I might get to write a piece about how Chris Brown has finally matured, but I can’t because those 2 minutes, 46 seconds have shown that he hasn’t… and likely never will.

“If there was ever a doubt in your mind that Chris Brown is done, finished,” Brown says of himself, “I wouldn’t bet on it.” Which is a fucking shame.

If you’d like to RSVP to Chris Brown’s pity party, comment below.

Chloe Chaplin

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