Rich Got Drunk and Reviewed… Eastern European Jazz

One of the UK’s most reputable independent record shops, If Music, has returned recently with Eastern European Sounds (1970-1986), a compilation of obscure Eastern European Jazz, spanning from the early 1970s to the late 1980s. Our Entertainment Editor decided to get drunk as fuck and ruin any kind of artistic merit this album had for anyone. Here are the results:

Wojciech Karolak – Discopus Nr 1 Pt. 1&2

This already reminds me of Weather Report so much. Yes, I listen to Dad Jazz, all jazz is for dads. It’s pretty funky to be fair. Jazz fusion is the tits – dem primitive synths as well, quality analogue piano synths… I wonder how old as fuck you have to be to remember when these synths were relevant and interesting? Anyone remember that episode of the Mighty Boosh where Howard’s trying to point out the bit in the jazz fusion track where the interesting thing happens? Yeah that’s me right now, I’m a bit bored. Step it up Polish jazz dudes.

Alojz Bouda – Random (Naslepo)

YESSSSS DUB LASERS I LOVE DUB LASERS. Damn this is some dope fucking proto-techno. it’s like John Carpenter’s Halloween meets weird 70s experimental dance music/ Big up Eastern Europe, big up all the man in the rave; Majyic, Tomasz, my man Bartosz big up all the polkacrew on dis one – it’s a banger. I wonder if this was a dancefloor banger. I want to try some of the drugs people were on to appreciate this tune. It’s pretty big, like chill hard-tech with horror movie samples.

Polski Jazz Ensemble – Song for Ewa

Damn son I feel sad, but this also resembles that weird free jazz shit. Maybe it’s a musical deconstruction of romance in soviet Europe, soft and melancholy but also FUCKING INTENSE. Ooooh damn, this piano! How did people skank to this, like how does it work? Did Khrushchev soften and allow saxophones? So many questions. We always think of the Soviet Union as some sort of horrendous people-eating machine but this jazz track shows it up for more than that. It’s really cool to be sad these days but it probably wasn’t between 1970 and 1986, trendsetters n shit.

“Prince Igor” Yahilevich – Double Sun

This dude is cool. I like the intro. I wish more people did intros to songs like this; you can really identify with the jazz that’s coming after. This song just has me looking over my shoulder. Is there some weird dude from the Soviet Union coming to try and mug me in 70s Blaxploitation fashion? Idk but it sure feels like there is. Fuck. Damn this dude’s saxophone skills are great. Or clarinet, I think that’s a clarinet. Fuck music journalism, I’m going to lead the 21st century jazz revival, only when I am literally someone’s dad tho.

Andrzej Korzyński – L’Arme Du Milicien – Patkarz

Damn these synths are cool, prog rock is the new hip hop. But not really. At all. Some prog rock is cool, not all of it though. These synths are doing it for me, I can imagine Eastern European Rick Wakeman drinking Tyskie and wine singing ‘this’ll be the day that I die’ and doing some mad freestyles on his moog. Otherwise it’s just standard eastern European jazz. Jazz was such a worldwide thing, it was like modern hip hop levels of cool 50 years ago. I wonder if my grandkids will think hip hop is lame and old one day… Probably. That’s depressing as fuck.

Binder Quintet feat. John Tchicai – Sirató (Dirge)

RUH ROOOOH RAGGY! Damn, that tension building outro! Still jamming. Sick, this just reminded me of that episode of Community where Chang burns out his residence next to the cafeteria. I wish I was a crazy Chinese dude, or that I could play the saxophone, either or y’know it’s cool I don’t mind. Damn these horn duets are quality, giving me the horn HARHAR. Ok I’m done. That was cool, gg Eastern Europe Jazz scene from 30 years ago.

Richard Lowe

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