Lyrical Subjects That Will Always Be Trash

A few months back we published a piece about the power of lyrics and the special lyricists behind them. But, here at UTM, we never like to leave things on a positive note, so this time round we dissected the lyrics from our favourite (and least favourite) genres of music, and came up with a list of topics we despise hearing the most, whether it’s due to overuse or ability to make us cringe. Here are 7 lyrical subjects that are just total trash.

Ca$h Money

If your lyrical content only touches on how much shit you own, in a truly shite meta way; if you got all that money from talking about how many LAMBO$$$ you had when you were driving a Polo round or something, then I’ll pass.

I don’t need to hear Tyler, The Creator talk about all the shit he owns now after starting his career shitting all over those artists, although “I hope you putting some money to the side and payin’ your taxes” from ‘WHAT THE FUCK RIGHT NOW’ is fucking funny. I also don’t need to be told Jay Z is suing the previous owners of Tidal to see he wrongly invested a lot of his money.

Weed

We get it, you smoke weed, whilst passing references to cannabis don’t annoy me in the slightest; with someone like Bones it’s cool, him talking about smoking 70 blunts a day kinda explains away his mildly bad rapping, it adds to the whole stoned out white dude aesthetic he’s got going on.

It’s actually incredibly boring being stoned as fuck all the time and as such, lyricism about being stoned as fuck all the time is also boring, there are artists (like dad rap blaze it extroardinare man, Black The Ripper) for whom this is their whole thing  and it’s really lame. Entire tunes dedicated simply to the fact that you enjoy smoking weed get boring as fuck. Entire album’s dedicated to being on fuckloads of LSD? Now you’re talking my language.

Current Events

Thanks to top lads Kasabian, “Being watched by Google” is an actual existing lyric, no further proof is needed here.

Satanism

In the 20th century satanism is kinda lame, across the extreme metal and increasingly within the underground hip hop scene there’s a strong tradition of implanting occult themes within ones lyrics. 40 years ago it was pretty controversial, it was rebellious to write songs about satan.

These days talking about satanism and satanic rituals/murders is fucking lame; satanically motivated murder was a pretty cheesy lyrical subject back in the mid 80’s and in the mid 2010’s it’s just lazy. sure within the underground hip-hop scene it’s due to the appropriation of the black metal aesthetic. $uicideBoy$ are a great example of this; a group who’s music is good, but who’s lyrics leave a lot to be desired, maybe they’re just being really meta with the black metal influence by intentionally having boring as fuck lyrical themes. Stop going on about blunt ash on the sacrificial altar and write about something cool like HP Lovecraft or something.

Cash Rules Everything Around Me

Look ‘C.R.E.A.M’ is and always will be seminal dad rap, but when did it become some special rap initiation to reel this line of in the middle of a verse? It often exists as only a lazy reference, and it’s even worse when someone attempts to ‘cleverly’ twist the lyrics into something else, the nastiest example being Kitty’s “Rash rules everything around me”. Genius gives 2316 results when you type the lyric into the search bar, rappers of the world, please don’t make it 2317.

The Road

What even is the road? It’s such an abstract thing, someone who grew up shotting a few bags to make some P can say they’re from the road, as can people who have grinded, selling horrible drugs to and for horrible people for P.

We at UTM are big fans of abstract lyrical content, but when it has literally no meaning it gets a bit annoying to listen to. Novelist is a great MC and hopefully The Square will be fondly remembered in the future, but on the iconic ‘Lewisham MCdeez’ man chats some shit; ‘aunties, uncles all from the road’ what? what does that even mean? What does it have to do with McDonalds?

Every Pop Punk Lyric Ever

“Here they go again, UTM won’t shut up about how pop punk is trash” Well, it is and we’re never gonna stop whining about it (destroy pop punk clothing line coming soon). Of all things that irritate us about pop punk, and there sure are many, it’s the lyrics that are most frustrating.

Fittingly for a genre that should be better left in your teenage plebbery, pop punk lyrics are horribly immature. Weather it’s being really overdramatic about the power of friendship (you should’a grown out of that after the first pokemon movie), a desire to leave their hometown (everyone does) or stringing together a bunch of swears your parents don’t want you to hear, the childishness of pop punk lyricism is enough to put someone off pizza of forever.

Connor Cass, Richard Lowe & Bill Waters

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