We all know that feeling, I first felt it as a budding, lovecraftian Death cultist in the great mediafire purge of 2011, smoking weed, drinking coffee and browsing youtube for what seems like weeks in a darkened void, devoid of reality or human interaction and you find THAT fucking tune/album/artist/mix. It’s like nothing you’ve ever heard before and you must hear more from the artist, or at the very least be able to download the full release it’s included on, but the only link you can find is a dead mediafire link citing copyright violation(on a demo from fucking 1991 that wasn’t even officially released) as the reason for it not being there.
Be it a scratchy, slime ridden demo from the pits of the Scandinavian death metal scene circa 1989(BEST YEAR FOR DEMOS FUCK ALL THAT POST 1990 MORRISOUND BULLSHIT), or some obscure but genius rapper who’s inexplicably deleted pretty much his entire discography from the entire fucking internet because reasons, it always sucks. It’s almost soul destroying to have to go to Youtube to listen to your music like a pleb(or worse, use Youtube to mp3 downloader, like an even bigger pleb). It’s sad when you simply cannot find an album you’ve fallen in love with right there and then, it’s right there in front of you, playing through your speakers, you can hear it, but it’s not yours. Living in the future is weird.
On one hand the phenomena of not being able to instantly download an album can be awesome, for instance back in the day I paid a rather exorbitant amount of money for obscure Swedish saddeath-mongers Gorement’s My Ending Quest release from 1995, jam packed with a free CD of some even more obscure Swedish band from 1992(although I think there was a reason for said band’s obscurity) and a T-shirt with possibly the apex of awkward band tee Slogans; ‘PURE SWEDISH DEATH METAL’scrawled across the back, even people at fucking Bloodstock laughed at me when I wore it but I didn’t care, I’d put blood, sweat and tears into acquiring it and it was intensely satisfying.
It’s almost a novelty to not be able to find in this day and age of mediafire, torrenting and freely available music right at your fingertips, although arguably I’ve also acquired a lot of music that, in retrospect, probably wasn’t worth the half hour tracking down the .rar of, but who really cares. It’s the chase, the battle against all odds to find Forest Silence‘s Eternal Winter on some scatty looking, but actually pretty legit Russian filesharing site that’s the real exhilaration. It’s like what tape trading was like once upon a time, but without all the fucking speaking to people and horrible cassette sound quality. Whilst today, what with freely available music streaming, the music industry(the people at the top and those maddened cassette waving lunatics at the bottom) having a more nuanced attitude to the internet and The worlds governments having given up the war on internet ‘piracy’(maybe they’ll stop the war on drugs soon HAHA GOOD ONE RICH), it’s still perfectly possible to just simply not be able to find a tune for one’s possession, more often than not due to arbitrary bullshit.
This happened to me earlier this year with X-files sample heavy, Hip hop weirdboy IndigoChildRick‘s seminal Indigo album, man’s literally wiped Indigo off of the face of the internet for some reason(outside of the above youtube rip). After hearing a couple tracks, I had to hear it(luckily it’s now up on Youtube at least), but being unable to find it fucking anywhere, I asked him on Twitter and man just fav’d my tweet as if he thought it was fucking funny that someone wanted to hear a great album he’d released. Maybe I was just stroking his ego, I guess I’ll never know. It’s shitty when artists restrict their content like that, be it wiping it off the face of the earth, or releasing a really good EP in 50 cassette copies only format, but, like some sort of weird internet stalker, the rejection just makes me want that sweet sweet Indigo in my downloads folder even more.
Ultimately it fucking sucks when artists do shitty things with their music, but on the other hand, an album being un-downloadable is kind of awesome, we pretty much live in the future and sooner or later, you’ll find that album you’ve been craving, be it for minutes, months or decades, when you finally possess it there’ll be no better feeling, maybe sex, idk.